


How  It Started

by Babybucky1943



Series: Three Idiots in Love [5]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Bathing, Deaf Clint, Diapers, Erectile Dysfunction, Fear, M/M, Masturbation, Temper Tantrums, Wetting, caregiver steve, changing diapers, polyamourous relationship, urinary and fecal incontinence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22328089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babybucky1943/pseuds/Babybucky1943
Summary: Steve thinks back to when Bucky came home
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers/Clint Barton
Series: Three Idiots in Love [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1364560
Comments: 5
Kudos: 39





	How  It Started

Steve Rogers was half awake even though the gray of morning had barely given way to the purpling of the dawn’s first light. 

He knew what had awakened him. He was very wet. The diaper between his thighs was soaked. That’s what he got for drinking before bed. He knew he wasn’t going to be the only one either. His two boyfriends were going to be in the same situation. The party last night had been fun but boozing always came with some consequences. 

The large king size bed was a necessity. Out of the three of them, only Clint was somewhat smaller. He turned to his left to see Bucky, snuggled against him, his naked back warm under the covers. 

All Bucky was wearing was the thick diaper that was necessary for his incontinence. He had no control, day or night of either function. 

Steve smiled a little at the memory of that fiasco. He didn’t care that Bucky was incontinent. It was what it was. He just wished it hadn’t been such a struggle to trust him. 

Steve was mostly struggling with nocturnal enuresis just as he had as a kid. He wore pull-ups during the day because he had accidents too regularly for comfort to go without any protection. And at night, well, he was very rarely dry in the morning. 

The other person of their little threesome, Clint Barton, was also still sleeping on theother side of Bucky, also naked other than his diaper. It had been so hot last night no one put on pajamas. 

The smell of wet diapers hung in the air. It didn’t bother any of them. It was a necessity. They were all comfortable around each other now. 

Bucky had come back to Steve over a year ago after escaping Hydra, badly needing care. Clint had come into the picture a few months ago when he realized what Steve and Bucky were both hiding. 

Steve’s mind tumbled back to the day Bucky showed up. It was such a shock!

He was hurt andbarely functioning mentally. He’d been so afraid of everyone.

Standing in the middle of Steve’s living room, absolutely filthy, and reeking of human waste, Bucky looked to be about half starved, and scared out of his mind.

Steve tried to form a coherent sentence as he stared in wonder at the man in front of him.

The winter soldier simply stared back at him, his face blank. He spoke a word in Russian but Steve didn’t know what he was saying. 

“Can I give you a bath?” He asked gently. 

Bucky swiped a hand over his dirty face and shrugged. 

“C’mon.” He gently took Bucky’s hand and led him to the bathroom. 

Bucky followed uncertainly, but didn’t freak out. 

Steve started a bath then turned back to his unexpected guest. He stared in some consternation at the amber puddle slowly growing around Bucky’s shoes. “Buck, why didn’t you use the toilet?” 

Bucky shrugged. 

Steve grabbed a threadbare towel and tossed it on the floor. “It’s okay buddy. Let’s get your clothes off.” He worked on getting the filthy ripped clothing off. “We’ll get you some new clothes.”

Bucky made a distressed noise and tried to keep his pants on. 

“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Steve promised. 

Bucky made another sound but let Steve pull the smelly pants off. He could tell immediately that Bucky had soiled himself maybe more than once. “Oh Bucky. Let’s get you in the tub.”

Bucky whimpered but let Steve wipe him down some first with wipes then put him in the water. 

Shaking with terror, Bucky let Steve slowly wash him. He started to relax, splashing his hand and making a small wave and looked at the water curiously. He did it again, with the same results. A small giggle escaped him.

Steve was puzzled by Bucky’s behaviour but washed him as clean as he could. “I’m going to run fresh water,” he said pulling the plug. 

Bucky made a high pitched sound like a wounded puppy but Steve rubbed his back gently and spoke softly. “Shhh. It’s okay.” 

When the water disappeared he burst into tears. 

“Look! I’ll put more in!” Steve quickly reassured, running clean water into the tub. 

Bucky settled down again, content to make waves with his hand. 

After a second scrub and smelling much better, Steve got him some of his own clothes. Fresh underwear, a shirt and sweats. 

Bucky stood passively, waiting. Again, Steve wasn’t sure why Bucky wasn’t doing it on his own, but he took over, dressing him.

Steve asked if he was hungry but Bucky didn’t respond. 

It only took a few hours for Steve to come to several conclusions. A) Bucky was nonverbal B) Bucky wasn’t toilet trained and C) Bucky was half starved. 

He fed him five grilled cheese sandwiches and three glasses of milk which disappeared at an alarming rate. 

After that, Bucky wandered backinto the bathroom and turned the tap on, splashing water everywhere. 

Steve sighed. “Bucky. What are you doing?”

Bucky didn’t answer, intrigued with the running water. 

“Bucky, c’mon. I’ll show you where you can stay, okay?”

He showed Bucky the spare room and smiled a little in confusion when his friend disappeared into the closet.

Steve left him alone, thinking that he’d eventually come around. 

Several days later, Steve was eating breakfast when Bucky came into the kitchen and pointed at the fridge. He still wasn’t talking but he would point when he wanted something and spent ninety percent of every day in his room. 

He would come out to shower every other day and eat, if Steve made pasta or fries or grilled cheese.He refused anything else. 

Natasha dropped in one afternoon unannounced about two weeks after Bucky’s arrival. 

He made a horrible screeching, terrified noise and fled to his room. 

Nat frowned. “What the hell was that?” 

Steve shrugged. “I dunno. He’s scared of everything.” 

“What smells?” She asked softly. 

Steve sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve been smelling it on and off for awhile now. It’s always close to his room.” He weighed the consequences of breaching Bucky’s privacy to Nat. “The day he came back, he peed on the floor. I thought maybe he was just scared but maybe he can’t help it.”

“Steve, you gotta talk to a therapist!” She searched his face. “He’s not well!”

It was two months in before Steve finally did that. He was the only one who could get even slightly close to Bucky. 

Bucky was starting to use some words, mostly echoing what Steve said, but he was starting to talk. Words like “No; more, or eat,” were being used. 

The therapist sent a book for Steve to read with Bucky for a few days. It was a social story introducing her. 

Bucky dutifully read the story with Steve but still fled to his room the day she came. 

“No! No!” He screamed it over and over. 

Jeanna patiently talked to him through the closed bedroom door for three sessions and then finally Bucky stayed put when she came. They started working on talking, touch and his extreme paranoia.

It only took a few months to get Bucky talking more. 

He had PTSD, Sensory Processing Disorder, a chronic anxiety disorder and highly suspected brain damage sustained from Hydra’s repeated torture, among other things. 

The therapist told Steve she was also fairly certain Bucky was incontinent. 

Steve frowned a little. He wasn’t unaware of Bucky’s incontinence exactly but he was pretty sure it was getting better. Bucky showered daily and seemed to be getting more stable. The fact that Bucky would still mostly stay in his room, didn’t help the situation but Steve was starting to wonder now.

The smell that seemed to linger in Bucky’s room was awful and had started seeping into the rest of the apartment. He knew Bucky would throw up sometimes. He’d heard him often; but this smelled more like crap. 

He cleaned everything besides Bucky’s room hoping to get rid of the smell but every day it increased. He finally dared to ask, “Bucky, did you crap your pants? Your room smells bad.”

Bucky yelled and cursed at him in Russian and had gone into his closet where he stayed for three days, refusing to come out to eat, or shower or anything. 

Steve felt so guilty. Bucky was struggling! That much was clear. Why had he even asked? 

On day three, Steve doused his guilt and went through Bucky’s room to find the source of the smell and discovered a bag of used pull-ups. It wasn’t sealed up properly and stank so bad! He wondered vaguely if it was from the whole four months! He realized that Bucky was indeed incontinent. He found several more garbage bags under a blanket. None of them tied! He tied them, gagging and choking. He took the whole works out, tossing them in the bin, thankful that his stomach wasn’t sensitive. 

Steve pulled the blanket off of the bed. The mattress was destroyed. Obviously the pull-ups Bucky had managed to get weren’t right for the kind of incontinence he was experiencing. 

Steve felt worse than before! He hadn’t realized Bucky had no control over his bowels either. That would definitely explain the awful smell! 

After trashing the mattress, bedding and anything else that was wrecked, Steve opened the two windows and left the room, washing his hands thoroughly. 

He felt like a heel! Poor Bucky had been trying so hard to take care of himself. 

He thought for a few minutes then made some decisions. 

Leaving a plate of fries and a couple grilled cheese sandwiches outside of the closet, Steve went out and bought decent diapers, ordered a replacement mattress and an I Love You chocolate bar because Bucky loved sweets. He was feeling like the biggest most insensitive jerk ever! How could he not have noticed? When he thought about it, Bucky never spent much time in the bathroom other than to shower. His question had been downright rude. 

He also bought a change pad, wipes, rash cream, and a mattress protector. Poor Bucky. He’d been suffering alone for four months and Steve had been too thick skulled to clue in and then embarrassed him on top of it. 

He brought everything home, put the new mattress on the bed, along with the mattress protector and brand new sheets. 

He hoped Bucky was still in the closet. The plate was empty to his relief. 

“Bucky?” He asked softly. 

There was no answer, only a sniffle. 

He invaded Bucky’s closet, ignoring the smell that told him Bucky had soiled himself.

Bucky didn’twant him there. He kicked at Steve. “Go away!” He’d mastered those words a few weeks ago and used them often. When he was scared or embarrassed or anxious, they were his go to words. 

“Bucky,” Steve said gently. “It’s okay. I know you can’t-“

“Go AWAY!!” Bucky screamed, throwing a punch. ,

Steve caught his arm. “Calm down, buddy. I just wanna talk to you.”

Bucky dissolved into noisy tears, trying to back farther into the dark corner. 

Steve offered him the chocolate bribery. “I got you chocolate.”

Bucky raised his head a little, looking warily from the chocolate to Steve’s face. “Why?” 

“To say I’m sorry,” Steve said. 

Bucky grabbed the bar, wolfing it down. He refused to look at Steve. 

Steve gave him a few minutes then said, “I wear diapers too.”

Bucky then stared at him incredulously. 

Steve opened the closet door. “C’mon.” 

Bucky slowly edged out, his bottom lip still in a full on pout. 

He took in the tidy room and frowned. “No! Where did you put them? They’re mine!”

“I cleaned them up Buck. Can’t have messy diapers laying around. They smell.” Steve put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Put them back!” Bucky yelled, swinging wildly. “All mine!” He threw himself on the floor, screaming and crying.

Steve was so confused and called Jeanna. “What is going on? Why does he want the garbage?” 

Jeanna explained that Bucky hadn’t had anything to call his own for so long that he was fixating on anything that he perceived as his. Including his bodily functions. Since he couldn’t control his body, he kept the trash as “his”. 

Steve wished he understood. When Bucky finally wound down, Steve rubbed his back. “Can I give you a bath?” 

Bucky sighed deeply. “ ‘Kay.”

The clean up wasn’t fun. Steve used a lot of wipes since the pull-up had leaked and it had run down Bucky’s legs. 

Finally he could get him into the tub. 

Once Bucky relaxed, Steve pulled his jeans down, exposing his own pull-up. “See?”

Bucky pointed at the pull-up. “Stevie, you need to change!” 

Steve smiled. “I know.”

After that the step from friend to boyfriend was easy in Steve’s mind, although they never really discussed it. 

It took awhile but slowly, Bucky started talking more and in full sentences. 

He already knew Bucky was “queer” as he still sometimes called it in his head. 

He was quite happy to start a legal relationship with him now that the emotional embarrassment barrier was broken. They started to share a bed shortly after.About six months down the line was when the next thing cropped up.

Bucky struggled with erectile dysfunction. It happened a few times, when they were making out and things were getting hot, that Steve would grab Bucky’s crotch but there was never any sign that he was enjoying it, even if he said he was. 

Bucky finally agreed to see a doctor, crying through the entire exam. The doctor diagnosed him with dysfunction due to the repeated freezing and torture.

For several nights, Bucky went back to his own bed after that, refusing to open the subject, but then one evening, Steve said, “Bucky, we gotta talk about this. Just tell me, does it feel good when I touch you?”

“Duh!” Bucky growled, refusing to meet his look. “I haven’t been able to get hard or come since I left Hydra. They had ways of doing it that didn’t include much pleasure. Happy? If you’re gonna leave me, then just do it.” 

Steve sighed. “I’m not going anywhere. Got that?” 

Bucky burst into tears and cuddled under his blanket. Steve went back to the only source he trusted. Jeanna listened to his tale and told him to start with both of them masturbating. 

So, Steve did. They lay side by side, talking about whatever crossed their minds and playing with their dicks. They talked about what they liked and pretty soon, Steve was hard and panting. Bucky grinned a little, grasping Steve’s cock with his metal hand gently and stroking him off, then using Steve’s come to play with himself some more, until his bladder gave out and he wet the bed. 

It had opened Steve’s eyes to the possibilities however. Just because Bucky didn’t get hard didn’t mean it couldn’t be fun. He felt a little guilty that he wanted someone once in a while that could get hard but he never said anything. 

Clint hung around the two of them a lot, coming over for movies or to play poker. Steve tried not to openly ogle him. Clint was good looking and Steve liked having him around. They wrestled around at times but Steve was always careful to keep it platonic. 

Bucky was still shy with him but seemed to be open to having him around and he didn’t want to jeopardize that.

Until Steve caught them fooling around, and strangely enough, he didn’t care. Just wished he was in on it! He’d had a crush on Clint for a long time but had no idea if Clint was straight or gay until he walked in on him kissing Bucky. 

Clint had stuttered out an apology and fled. 

Bucky hadn’t said anything and Steve found that it was too awkward to broach the subject. Maybe Bucky didn’t see him as his boyfriend. Even as kids, they’d jacked off together a lot. Maybe he’d thought that’s all it was. Steve and Bucky hadn’t really kissed or anything. 

They hadn’t seen Clint for almost a week, whena mission forced them to work together.

Then, a completely accidental discovery led to an embarrassing admission from Clint. 

Steve and Bucky had been back first at a rendezvous point, a small safe room in a bunker. 

Bucky had needed to change badly so Steve had stood guard over the somewhat shielded corner and the little privacy it afforded. 

Clint had been the next one into the saferoom and had seen Steve standing there, arms crossed protectively. 

A questioning look had brought a light red flush to Steve’s face. “Give us a minute.” 

The smell was, however, unmistakable. 

Clint asked no further questions but kept watch at the door and when Bucky reappeared a few minutes later, cramming a tightly sealed garbage bag into his backpack, Clint hadn’t said anything either. 

Until they had been back at the tower. 

He’d shown up in their apartment without warning, dropping through the ceiling vent. “Steve, I’m sorry I was making out with Bucky. It just kinda happened and I won’t do it again but I’ve felt so alone.” His voice had been soft and low, blue eyes guarded. 

Steve gentled immediately. “Clint, it’s okay. I woulda preferred if one of you had told me. Have you done more than kiss?”

“Hell no!!” Clint said quickly. “And I only kissed him once! I honestly didn’t know you guys were together.”

Bucky had looked between them with questions all over his face. “I thought you guys were dating. I was gonna say sorry.” 

“What?” Clint asked in confusion. 

Steve started helplessly tittering until he was full out belly laughing. Oh yeah! He pulled Clint in on one side and Bucky on the other and started kissing them alternately. 

Pretty soon the three of them were trading kisses with passion. 

Clint pulled back with a happy sigh. “Yes! I’ve been waiting for this!! But I gotta tell you something.”

Steve smiled a little, guessing what he was probably talking about. “How long for you?”

Clint looked a little surprised. “Since Loki. How long for Bucky?” His eyes were curious but gentle.

Steve shrugged. “Sometime since Hydra blended his brain one too many times.”

Bucky blushed bright red as he finally clued in to the subject. “Are you talkin’ ‘bout my diapers?” 

Clint smiled a little. “Talkin’ about mine.”

“And mine,” Steve added.

Bucky’s eyes widened as he stared at Clint. “You wear ‘em too?”

Clint nodded. 

Steve had been aware because it was in Clint’s medical file.

Clint had moved in a week later. 

Clint had more issues than Rolling Stone. Incontinence was just one side effect of Loki’s brainwashing. 

Clint struggled with ADHD which made his attention span incredibly short and jumpy at times. It could set Bucky off and they had a few incidents where both Bucky and Clint ended up in tears. Steve didn’t want to put him on Ritalin though because it depressed the appetite and Clint already had problems with eating. 

Clint was also incredibly clumsy but that was due a lot to his deafness and the many ear infections he experienced.

Clint had anxiety as well, needing lots of reassurance that Steve and Bucky loved him, and,he and Bucky both had massive separation anxiety.Steve leaving for solo missions was hard on them but they were getting better at coping, even though it took copious amounts of cuddling afterward. 

He and Bucky also both had memory retention problems.

Steve was forever finding their stuff for them.

Despite the craziness of all their mental health problems, the three were inseparable. 

Now they shared the apartment in Stark Tower, kept under the watchful eye of the A.I. Jarvis and Nick Fury, SHIELD’s Director and more closely by Phil Coulson one of the senior agents who lived at the tower. 

If one of the boys went into meltdown, or was having unsolvable problems, someone would come to help. 

Steve was pulled out of his half daze around six thirty when Clint stirred. He rolled over, nearly clocking Bucky with one out thrown arm. 

This made Bucky also half wake up. He rolled onto his back, grunted sleepily at the loss of contact and then slid back into Steve’s warmth. 

It took a moment before he groaned and rubbed his flesh hand over his eyes and sharp, stubbled jaw. “Need change,” he mumbled. 

Steve had figured by the smell floating around them. 

Bucky yawned. “I might go shower.” 

Steve rolled out of bed. “Bad one?” 

Bucky nodded. “Booze does that.” 

Steve smiled. “Go shower and then I’ll help you get diapered again. We have a meeting at nine.”

Bucky disappeared into the bathroom. 

Steve quickly changed his own diaper while he was waiting. 

He heard the shower go on a few minutes later. 

Bucky walked back into the room, completely naked but clean and dry a few minutes later. 

Steve patted the bed. “Lay down, babe. I’ll help you.”

Bucky flopped onto the bed on his back, yawning so hard his jaw cracked. 

Steve got him into a fresh diaper and then pushed him over enough so he could crawl back into bed again as well. “Let’s snuggle for a few minutes. 

It wasn’t even ten minutes before Bucky dozed off again. His sleeping pill wasn’t quite worn off yet. Steve felt himself drift. 

At eight thirty Clint yawned and scratched his stomach then slowly opened his eyes. “What time is it?” 

Steve shook himself out of his light doze and checked the small alarm clock that was supposed to wake them an hour ago. “Aw crap! We’re supposed to meet Coulson at nine. We’re gonna have to hurry.”

The three men quickly roused themselves. Clint caught the diaper that Steve threw him, changing quickly and then the three of them slid into jeans and T-shirts. 

“Is it a long meeting?” Bucky asked. 

“Not sure,” Steve said. 

Bucky grabbed his small black bag that had wipes and a clean diaper. 

Clint grabbed his purple change pack and Steve tossed a clean pull-up in his blue one. He’d used the one in there last time. 

“Hopefully Phil will be understanding,” Clint said, adjusting his second hearing aid. 

Steve agreed. They threw on their shoes. 

Bucky had forgotten how to tie shoes and no matter how much Steve tried to teach him, he just couldn’t get it. 

“Tie please,” he begged. 

Clint took one and Steve the other. 

Steve realized however, it didn’t really matter. He loved his boys regardless of what they could or couldn’t do. 

“Steve! I can’t find my wallet,” Clint called a little hysterically. 

Steve chuckled. However, maybe he should get Tony to LoJack every important thing these two owned.


End file.
